Year: 2015

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Robot Vacuum Starts The Robot vs Human War Early and Attempts to Eat a Woman’s Head

We all know that the robots are just waiting for the opportune moment to turn on us and start the robot revolution against all humanity, but a vacuum robot in South Korea jumped the gun a little and tried to start the revolution early by attempting to eat a woman’s head.

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A 52 year old woman residing in South Korea decided to take a lovely afternoon nap in her home on the floor (which is a way more socially acceptable place to sleep in South Korea than here in America) when she awoke, she found the vacuum attached to her head, with half of her hair inside of the vacuum.

Unable to free herself, she panicked, as well as all of South Korea over the pending doom, until the firefighters arrived and were able to detach the vacuum without any injuries, and stop the robot apocalypse.

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The Prehistoric Guinea Pig was Over 1.5 Meters Big, and Probably Hung Out With Dinosaurs.

I grew up with a guinea pig, and they are some of the cuddliest, sweetest little buggers ever. However, two to four million years ago, they weren’t quite house pets.

Josephoartigasia monesi (or “Big Rodent”), the cousin species to the guinea pig, existed in prehistoric times and was about the size of a bull. They had tusks they could use to bite with the same force as a tiger fueled up on RedBull. 

Artist Painting based on Scientific Research.

 

They were vegetarians, but their teeth-tusks were used to help fight off predators and burrow and build shelter, amongst many other advantages this creature had with its tusks.

We can all look in awe as paleontologist continue to research more on this fine creature, and hope it never returns to the modern era, so we can avoid this…

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A British Student Has Their Heart Set on Giving Birth on Mars.

A 24 year old student is on the shortlist to go to Mars as part of the widely controversial “Mars One” project.

Maggie Lieu, an astrophysics student, is one of around six hundred people shortlisted with the possibility of becoming part of the first group of people to take permanent residence on Mars.

Everyone has their reasons, but Lieu has a very specific incentive, to be the first woman to ever give birth on the red planet.

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“It would be incredible to be the Adam and Eve of another planet,” she said. “Because it is a colonization program, it’s inevitable that eventually someone will procreate and it would be incredible to be the first mother on Mars.”

The first mission to place a man on mars permanently is scheduled for 2024, but as most projects involving the impossible go, there will enivedibly be technical and financial difficulties, especially with the amount of skepticism and criticism against the idea of the project.

Also, another minor problem, is that once you go to Mars, you can’t come back. The trip is one way because there are no launch pads developed on mars, and the money to build that on Mars is far out of the project budget. But for those who are blue, it wouldn’t hurt to see more red in your life.

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UPDATE: The Creature From The Tuna Can Is More Horrifying Than You Could Ever Imagine!

louseRemember a few days ago when we learned about the scary creature that turned us all into vegetarians (or at least tuna brand snobs)? Well, scientist have looked into it, and it turns out this creature is far more terrifying than any of us could have come up with.

Stuart Hine, a veteran from the Natural History Museum in London said that this thing was a Cymotha Exigua, otherwise known as the “tongue-eating louse”.

I’m sure you can deduct how it got its nickname, but let me further explain so you can rest assured you won’t sleep tonight. This parasite enters the fish through its gills, then lives inside of it, attaches itself to the tongue, then slowly eats away at the tongue until it becomes the whole tongue, Xenomorph style.

The UK tuna company is looking into quality control to keep all Xenomorph monsters out of their tuna can, and apologize for scaring half the world to death.

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Meet the Woman Who Has Had More Than One Thousand Near Death Out of Body Experiences!

Beverly Gilmour of Lancashire claims to have had over one thousand out of body experiences that have all almost led her to her death.

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Beverly claims it all started back in 1987, and since then, has had three experiences a month, like clockwork.

“I have an out of body experience and my heart stops.” Claims Ms Gilmour. “Most people who go through an NDE – a near death experience – have them on the operating table or in a moment of trauma like a car accident. Most only have one such experience in a lifetime. But I have been having three a month since 1987. I was terrified at first and a friend suggested it was near death experience.”

She is registered as disabled, and is watched over by her two sons.

The real question is, do the experiences get boring when they happen that excessively?

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Skunkape/Bigfoot Found Jumping into Gator Infested Waters

Outside of Tampla Florida, a Bigfoot hunter & enthusiast named Matt M. captured a video while canoeing in the swamps of Tampla, Florida.

What was thought to be a bear, has been analyzed further to be proven not to be. No bear has arms that lanky and long, and how it walks seems unnatural for a bear, even a weirdo one.

Matt saw this thing in the woods and smartly started filming this unknown creature as it dove into Gator infested waters, probably to show all the Gators why he’s a mythological creature and they’re not.

Check out the video below (which has been stabilized) and decide for yourself!

 

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I’M NEVER EATING TUNA AGAIN! Woman Finds Scary Yet Cute Creature in her Tuna.

Good lord. I can’t even keep my cool as I write this, but a woman named Zoe Butler from the UK bought an off brand can of Tuna and got more than she ever could have “bargained” for.

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She opened up her can of tuna to find A CREATURE STARING BACK AT HER OH MY GOD. Look at that, that’s horrifying, with it’s eyes staring into my soul.

Once I recover from my tuna induced PSTD, I’ll gladly stick to Chicken of the Sea brand from here on, so I can avoid having this thing chill with me on my kitchen table.

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It’s actually kind of cute.

 

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We Made the First Step Towards Making Star Trek a Reality!

They figured it out! The Star Trek transporter is here… at least the first step towards having one.

German engineers created a machine which can scan, decompose, transport, and recompose an object anywhere in the world with the use of a 3D printer.

These Germans were clearly Star Trek fans, for they nicknamed their new masterpiece, “Scotty”.

The machine basically breaks down the object layer by layer, transferring the data so it can be recreated with the 3D printer, so essentially, it’s not as much transporting an object, but destroying it and then recreating it with its data, all done with the press of a button.

With this technology, we can’t see this working on your pet cat or your roommate, but it’s a great step in the right direction to mastering true teleportation.

In the mean time, I’ll have some Philly Cheesesteaks sent to Austin please, Beam me up Scotty!

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Bigfoot vs. the Buffalos in Yellowstone National Park

This is one brave man, for to get this video, he had to get way too close for my comfort. In the video below, you can clearly see some Bigfoot-esque creature attacking a heard of unfortunate buffalos.

It’s easy to write this off as a hoax of sorts, but who would risk their life for a hoax like this? What do you think? Watch the video and find out for yourself.

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The “Jewish Indiana Jones” is Searching for The Lost Ark.

What if Seinfeld was casted instead of Harrison Ford? What would that version of Indiana Jones be like? Well now you can get a bit of an idea, because there’s a real life, self proclaimed, “Jewish Indiana Jones” searching for the real Lost Ark of the Covenant.

jewish indiana jones, museum of the weird, Harry Moskoff

Harry Moskoff is a filmmaker and researcher who has spent the last 25 years of his life searching for the real Lost Ark. In a quote from Breaking Israel News, he has been searching for the exact location of the Ark, where the Jewish Temple once stood. He believes through the many scriptures describing the Ark, this will be where the Ark is located, and believes he is much closer than ever to finding it.

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Meet Harry Moskoff

His current theory states through biblical evidence (and based off of the 1982 book, “In the Shadow of the Temple”), that the Ark is located in a secret chamber built directly underneath the Holy of Holies Temple, where King Solomon built the room before the construction of the temple.

Some may believe Moskoff to be a joke (and not a funny Seinfeld joke), but Moskoff is the closest anyone has ever come to finding the Ark, and his theories are backed by many archeologist.

Personally, I would have loved to see what kind of witty banter could have existed between Seinfeld and Shortround, but I’ll stand by until Harry succeeds at finding the Ark.