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I’M NEVER EATING TUNA AGAIN! Woman Finds Scary Yet Cute Creature in her Tuna.

Good lord. I can’t even keep my cool as I write this, but a woman named Zoe Butler from the UK bought an off brand can of Tuna and got more than she ever could have “bargained” for.

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She opened up her can of tuna to find A CREATURE STARING BACK AT HER OH MY GOD. Look at that, that’s horrifying, with it’s eyes staring into my soul.

Once I recover from my tuna induced PSTD, I’ll gladly stick to Chicken of the Sea brand from here on, so I can avoid having this thing chill with me on my kitchen table.

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It’s actually kind of cute.

 

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We Made the First Step Towards Making Star Trek a Reality!

They figured it out! The Star Trek transporter is here… at least the first step towards having one.

German engineers created a machine which can scan, decompose, transport, and recompose an object anywhere in the world with the use of a 3D printer.

These Germans were clearly Star Trek fans, for they nicknamed their new masterpiece, “Scotty”.

The machine basically breaks down the object layer by layer, transferring the data so it can be recreated with the 3D printer, so essentially, it’s not as much transporting an object, but destroying it and then recreating it with its data, all done with the press of a button.

With this technology, we can’t see this working on your pet cat or your roommate, but it’s a great step in the right direction to mastering true teleportation.

In the mean time, I’ll have some Philly Cheesesteaks sent to Austin please, Beam me up Scotty!

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Bigfoot vs. the Buffalos in Yellowstone National Park

This is one brave man, for to get this video, he had to get way too close for my comfort. In the video below, you can clearly see some Bigfoot-esque creature attacking a heard of unfortunate buffalos.

It’s easy to write this off as a hoax of sorts, but who would risk their life for a hoax like this? What do you think? Watch the video and find out for yourself.

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The “Jewish Indiana Jones” is Searching for The Lost Ark.

What if Seinfeld was casted instead of Harrison Ford? What would that version of Indiana Jones be like? Well now you can get a bit of an idea, because there’s a real life, self proclaimed, “Jewish Indiana Jones” searching for the real Lost Ark of the Covenant.

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Harry Moskoff is a filmmaker and researcher who has spent the last 25 years of his life searching for the real Lost Ark. In a quote from Breaking Israel News, he has been searching for the exact location of the Ark, where the Jewish Temple once stood. He believes through the many scriptures describing the Ark, this will be where the Ark is located, and believes he is much closer than ever to finding it.

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Meet Harry Moskoff

His current theory states through biblical evidence (and based off of the 1982 book, “In the Shadow of the Temple”), that the Ark is located in a secret chamber built directly underneath the Holy of Holies Temple, where King Solomon built the room before the construction of the temple.

Some may believe Moskoff to be a joke (and not a funny Seinfeld joke), but Moskoff is the closest anyone has ever come to finding the Ark, and his theories are backed by many archeologist.

Personally, I would have loved to see what kind of witty banter could have existed between Seinfeld and Shortround, but I’ll stand by until Harry succeeds at finding the Ark.

 

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The Most Terrifying Creature Ever “Slender Man” Found in Staffordshire

If you haven’t heard of Slender Man yet, you just enjoyed your last good night’s sleep. Slender Man is an eight foot skinny ghost like creature in a suit. His face is covered in a white sheet, giving him no facial features (until he shows his razor sharp teeth) and a ghost like presence.

In the mythology of Slender Man, when he is stalking you, he hangs back far in the woods until he is noticed. Once noticed, the victim feels an overwhelming feeling of a numb like paralyzation of the mind and body. This state remains until Slenderman eventually catches up to you, pins you down, shows his giant razor sharp teeth, and well, you can probably piece together the rest.

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He has been a myth that’s been made into movies, video games, stories, and more, but now, he’s real, and has been spotted in Cannock Chase.

Several sleepless, terrified residents of Cannock Chase have claimed to have seen the long, Jack Skellington like creature creepin’ around their homes.

One resident, Lee (28), who investigated the strange accusations of the sightings, had the following to say:

“One theory is that this has nothing to do with the supernatural and eye-witnesses are experiencing sleep paralysis, where individuals’ eyes are open but they are still in a state of sleep, and therefore unable to move.

“There are reports of Slender Men seemingly pinning victims down, as if sitting on their chest. That could well be down to sleep paralysis.”

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“It appeared to rise out of the trees and hover over the path around 100m (328ft) in front of me. It was very dark, but I could see it clearly because of the lights coming from Rugeley.

“It was also a pretty clear night. If I were to compare it to anything, I would say it looked like a stereotypical Victorian gentleman, long, black overcoat with a homburg hat.

“I know this was no flying human because it had blood red eyes that shone in the night sky.

“It also had a mouth full of teeth that seemed to look like razors. Whatever it was, it stopped hovering and descended back into the trees. Needless to say, I did not investigate any further.”

No further investigations have been done, and the Slender Man very much may still be out there in the woods as the residents of Cannock Chase never sleep again.

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Hipster Bigfoot Found in Brooklyn?

Seems like a PBR drinking, fixed gear bicycle riding Bigfoot was found doing yoga… I mean walking around in Prospect Park in Brooklyn.

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The video was shot Tuesday morning in Prospect Park by a hot toddy drinking local mustache aficionado probably filming a short film when all of a sudden a large, dark figure walked in the back of his frame and probably ruining the man’s perfect intro shot.

The video was met with great skepticism upon viewing, and has been widely decided to be a hoax. All of Brooklyn scoffed upon viewing and went back to their home micro brew.

Watch the video and decide for yourself whether this is a PBR slinging Bigfoot, or large elaborate hipster hoax.

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Comedy Legend Bobcat Goldwaith Makes a Thrilling Film About Bigfoot in “Willow Creek”

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Everyone knows about the legend that is the Sasquatch caught on tape by Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin, some have even taken such a liking that they’ve devoted their life to finding this mysterious creature. Director Bobcat Goldwaith (of Police Academy fame) celebrates the passionate culture around the cryptozoological marvel.

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The movie follows in the (big)footsteps of the The Legend of Boggy Creek franchise, yet shares a lot of similarities to the horror classic, “The Blair Witch Project”. The movie follows an amateur filmmaker and his less than amused girlfriend as they journey through the fictional town of Willow Creek, which is based off “the Bigfoot capital of the world”, Bluff Creek, where the footage of the Patterson/Gimlin Sasquatch was captured (the film was also shot in the same woods Patterson and Gimlin shot the Sasquatch footage). The film is shot in an amateur found footage style, giving the movie a feeling of reality that you can’t shake, especially as they sit in a tent in fear as they hear the roaring steps of the beast himself creeping around their campsite.

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One of the more interesting aspects of the movie is during the first act, where we find the couple interviewing locals of Willow Creek about their experiences with the town’s own legendary hairy creature. All the interviews are with real people of the town, not actors, sharing their own personal experiences in an improvised manner. All these people tell true stories of sightings and experiences with Sasquatch, leading us to believe that the glorious creature is out there running around the woods of Oregon, waiting to be discovered.

Willow Creek can be purchased on Blu-Ray and DVD, and is available on multiple streaming platforms.

 

 

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Cryptozoologist of 2014: Bill Munns

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Bill Munns: a name better known in Hollywood circles than cryptozoological ones. Until recently. His career is one filled with awards and accolades for his extensive knowledge and experience in makeup and FX artistry. Emmys and Oscars decorate his shelves for his work on such films as “Mask” and on various Star Trek shows. So why is cyrptozoonews.com giving him their “Cryptozoologist of the Year” award?

Munn has a real interest in cryptids, specifically Bigfoot. He spent seven years analyzing the famous Patterson-Gimlin film (yes, you’ve seen it) and has written his conclusions in a new book, “When Roger Met Patty”. The appeal of his new book to cryptozoologists is not just the exhaustive study he does surrounding all the controversy around the film, but first explaining, then bringing to bear all of his experience as a special effects wizard to be able to authoritatively state that it wouldn’t have been possible in 1967 to create so realistic a hoax.

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Does his book put to rest skeptical claims about the film? Some would say no, that it spends more time on Munn himself, setting himself up as a reliable source of analysis than actually dealing with the facts and allegations in the case. Regardless, it is the first organized collection of responses to the skeptical analysis of the making of the film and as such, a valuable part of any serious cryptozoological library. Here at The Museum of the Weird  we salute you, Bill Munns, for your work in advancing the study of our favorite cryptid!

 

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The Real Sideshow Performers that Inspired “American Horror Story: Freak Show”

The tv show “American Horror Story” grabbed our attention, as well as that of anyone interested in sideshow attractions, with their latest hit season “Freak Show”, that follows the travails of a failing traveling circus and its performers. Despite some amount of grousing from clowns, who weren’t pleased by the portrayal of yet another scary clown on the show (sorry dudes, clowns are freaky), overall this season has hit a high-mark for the show according to many fans. But how many of the show’s ‘freaks’ were close to reality? More than you’d think.

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The show’s very creepy ghost of Edward Mordrake, played by Wes Bentley, was based on a real guy (arguably). The real Edward, or at least the apocryphal tale relating to him, suffered from a second face on the back of his head which he claimed whispered horrible things to him at night, and led to him taking his own life at 23.  Many had since assumed the tale too fantastic to be true, but there have been numerous other examples of people born with more than one face, or at least elements of a second one, so it’s not possible to rule out Edward’s tale entirely.

More specifically recognizable is the origin of Pepper, the microcephalic or “pinhead” featured in the show as played by Naomi Grossman, certainly based upon the famous Schlitzie, who appeared in Tod Browning’s famous film “Freaks”.

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Schlitzie actually appeared in another film as well, “The Sideshow” and worked in multiple circuses to great success up until his death in 1971.

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As human mutations go, ectrodactyly fingers aren’t that uncommon; most digit disorders are inherited. But still, a number of sideshow performers became quite famous as ‘lobster boys’, probably none more so than Grady Stiles, whose family had carried the trait since the 1800s, and whose father had worked the sideshow circuit himself. In “American Horror Story”, Jimmy Darling, played by series regular Evan Peters, plays the lobster boy of the show who pays tribute to Stiles not just in sharing the condition, but in referencing the actual convoluted murder plot that involved Stiles’ own family paying another freak to murder him. The actual Grady Stiles appearance is shown in the show’s opening credits, but Evan, who is quite the looker, seems to have more in common with handsome sideshow performer Fred Wilson, who worked in the second half of the 19th century.

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Polycephalics, or two-headed animals, make their appearance on the show in the form of Sarah Paulson playing both Bette and Dot Tattler, dicephalic twins with two heads and at least the physical appearance of shared everything else. While their story arc seems closer to the famous Daisy and Violet Hilton, two barely-conjoined twins who went on to some degree of vaudeville fame (and appeared in “Freaks” themselves), the Tattler’s joining is considerably more rare and similar to Abigail and Brittany Hensel, pictured above, who had their own reality show recently on TLC.

Of course, many of the actors on the show are real freaks like Rose Siggins, who plays Legless Suzi, Mat Fraser who plays Paul the Illustrated Seal who suffers from Phocomelia Syndrome, and Jyoti Amge, the world’s smallest living woman, who charmingly plays Ma Petite. It’s important to remember that although it can be shocking at first to encounter people who have these rare conditions, that they are people too with feelings just like you. They want to be treated like everybody else and it’s really quite rude to do otherwise. However, I’m sad to report that Angela Bassett’s three-breasted woman on the show doesn’t appear to based on a real person so much as the famous mutant prostitute in the movie “Total Recall”. Recent reports to the contrary appear to be a hoax. I’m afraid I might have some trouble keeping my ‘eyes up here’, as it were, if she were real.

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Myth and Legend Became Real in 2014

Many legends are born of historical fact, and become mythologized over time. Never was this brought to light as clearly as in the discovered reality behind the epic poems of Homer. His stories of the Trojan War and the adventures of Odysseus as collected in his “The Iliad” and “The Odyssey” were originally assumed to be pure fiction until an amateur archeologist in the late 19th century, Heinrich Schliemann, discovered that its events and places were real. Many monsters were based on mutations, such as the stories of the werewolf may have gotten their origin from sightings of the sufferers of hypertrichosis. Who knows which stories of legend may turn out to have a basis in truth next?

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2014 actually was a pretty big year for legends proving to have some reality context. The website ancient-origins.net put together a list of 10 stories that all broke this year that are certainly worthy of the attention of followers of the weird. Like how about a possible explanation for mermaids? Sirenomelia, a rare congenital condition that causes the lower limbs to be fused, turns out to be a likely suspect for the roots of the mythological creature. Or how about the discovery of the remains of the Hell Hound of Suffolk, a 200 lb dog that broke into a church and killed parishioners before running off into legend? Maybe not just legend, as it turns out. Did you know the Icelandic government this year declared that a giant sea serpent called Lagarfljotsormurinn that lives there is real? Ok, I’m gonna take that one with a grain of salt, but I’ve still got my fingers crossed that one bears out.

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All these and more are discussed on the site in question. This serves as a great reminder to not dismiss out of hand the mysterious, mythological, or cryptozoological. Maybe this time next year we’ll be calling 2015, “The Year we Found Sasquatch”. We can only hope.

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